kill yourself.

I was sitting here thinking about how I would write a suicide note if I were to decide to really kill myself right this minute. I think it would go something like this..

To Whom It May Concern:
I realize that this may be upsetting at the moment, but I think in time, after all the crying is over, and the debts are paid off, you will realize it was for the best.
I am sad. I am sad all the time and it is making me into a bad wife and mother.
Ava needs a mom that can play with her and teach her, and give her all the love she needs. I cannot do that.
I can't please you, Brandon, in all the ways I should. I am never in the right mindset to sleep with you, and I eat so much all the time that I don't see why you would want to sleep with a piggy like me. I don't cook. I don't clean. I know you have needs. When you're ready, I want you to know that I am ok with you moving on and finding someone that can take care of you the way you should be taken care of.
Ava, I am sorry. Mommy loves you and this is not your fault.
Josh, Jesse I love you. You are the best. I'm sorry.
Mom, you're the best mom in the whole world. I am lucky to have you.
I'm sorry about the mess.
Love you,
Crystal Dawn Devine.