weird...

Spam blog???
weird...
I'm having a terrible day.

torn..

Somebody that I let go a little while ago wrote me today asking me to talk to her. I wrote her back asking, pretty much, "why even try?" We never talk. We never have time for eachother. We are into completely different things. We are on completely different walks in life. I know we will NEVER be close again, but at the same time, I want to keep people atleast in my life. What if I need a ride or something? haha.. but seriously... I tried to say no, but I wasn't expecting her to come back saying that I'm a huge part in her life and she NEEDS me there. She obviously has been doing just fine the passed couple months... I guess I just don't understand.

Twilight Movie

I think I need to go see Twilight again. I need to make sure that it really did suck as much as I remember it sucking. It seemed like one of those movies like Scary Movie or Date Movie mixed with a poorly thought out independent film. Kirsten Stewert was boring. She seemed out of it the whole entire movie. Her and Robert Pattison did not have good chemistry. You could tell their 'love' was acting. (or lack there of) I'm so disappointed. Which is why I have to go see it again. Maybe I'll like it the second time around.

"I want my wife back"

I DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE EXACTLY HOW YOU WERE BEFORE.. THINK AGAIN. JUST BECAUSE I DECIDED TO HAVE A FRIEND OUTSIDE OF MY HUSBAND AND MY BABY DOESN'T MEAN I WENT ANYWHERE.

I don't think you should have put that on myspace. That's our business.

5 Bite Diet.

I was up this morning around like 8:30 and there was a show on called M&J.. I've never seen it because, I'm usually asleep at that time. Anyways, there was this doctor on there that wrote a book called the 5 Bite Diet. I think it's genius. The hosts did not. Neither did the dietitian. I thought there was going to be a war. They didn't like it because, it's a restrictive diet which can lead to anorexia. You can eat whatever you want though. You skip breakfast, have 5 bites of whatever you want for lunch, and 5 bites of whatever you want for dinner. WHATEVER YOU WANT. I could eat like 5 bites of cake everyday. There were a lot of people on there that lost a lot of weight. They said it's comparable to the diet you're on after gastric by-pass surgery or lap-band. I want lap-band done, but Brandon doesn't want me to. So maybe I could try this first. It's not like it can give me any worse eating issues than I already have.. I need to decide when I'm going to start though. I was thinking on Sunday because, I work Sunday and Monday. It's easier to not stuff my face when I'm at work. Plus, the first 2 days are supposed to be the hardest. It's going to be glorious.

FRENCH FRIES!

Ava was so funny today. She was making herself laugh. It was freaking hilarious. She said she was hungry so I asked what she wanted to eat.. she wanted french fries. We don't have any french fries. So she kept asking for them because, she knew we didn't have them. It got to the point where she couldn't even get the words out of her mouth because, she was laughing so hard. It was absolutely amazing.

Endometriosis

My ultrasound came back with nothing on it. Everything looked healthy. Now I have to go get checked to see if I have endometriosis I guess because, I have a lot of the symptoms of it. I hope they figure it out because, I'm either in pain or I'm dopey.
Yesterday, I woke up crying because, I was in so much pain and I was bleeding an unnatural amount of blood. They got me into the doctor as soon as they could and all they did was give me a shot in the booty for pain. Kristy had to drive down here from Tacoma to drive me and she stayed with me until actually just a little bit ago. I honestly was scared to go to sleep last night because, I thought I was going to die. I'm staying at my mom's tonight since Brandon's not home. I don't want to stay here by myself.

AntiChrist.

He scares me. I am now convinced that Rahm Emanuel is the antichrist. Things just add up that way. My husband now thinks I am a complete phsyco, but I don't care. The end of the world scares the crap out of me. Microchips and the rapture and all that. I don't want the end to come. I love my life. I want it to continue.

So Sleepy

Went to my ultrasound today. I forgot how much I hate drinking a bunch of water and not being able to pee. I was miserable the entire time. I didn't even button my pants when it was over.. just jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Now we just wait and see. Then bloodwork. Yippee. I'm so tired though. I feel like this whole thing is just exhausting me. It's really hard to deal with Ava and fold the laundry. Ugh. Hopefully not too much longer.

Sleep

I have my ultrasound in a few hours. Ava woke me up super early this morning so instead of going back to bed, I got up so I could have a cup of coffee. I can't have any later because, I can't pee and they said caffeine makes you pee. Which is true because, I go like 100 times after I have like 2 cups. haha.


I was in quite a bit of pain last night. I'm going to take the doctor up on her offer to refill my Vicadin. I said no at first because, I wasn't taking it that often. It was just making me sick, but now, I'd rather be sick than have the pain.


I need to go back to bed now. I can't funtion if I don't have atleast like 10 hours of sleep. I've only had like 7 1/2.

THIS IS ME LACKING SLEEP.

Stupid Zen

So... at the beginning of October, I bought a beautiful pink Creative Zen MP3 Player. Well, at like the end of October, it died. So, I went to WalMart and traded it for a new one. As of right now, I'm ready to throw that stupid thing off the balcony. It's not working. My computer now doesn't recognize it. I keeps shutting off. It's being a piece of shit. That's what it's doing. It's SO STUPID. And I have no clue where my receipt is either. I know I kept it just because, Brandon and I have the worst luck with things like these, but I have absolutely no idea where that stupid thing is. I have another MP3 player sitting on the counter wrapped in that one's receipt waiting to be sent to Best Buy, but now I'm going to be stuck with one that's not working at all.
NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT EVER BUY ANYTHING 'CREATIVE' AGAIN. NO MATTER HOW CUTE IT IS.

Ultrasound Tomorrow.

I got my appointment for my ultrasound tomorrow. It's at 1:20. I'm not excited for them to see my belly. I hate it. I want to get a tummy tuck really bad. That's the first thing I'm buying when we become millionaires.

Stop Knocking

I stayed in bed really late today because, I wasn't feeling well. It was after one in the afternoon before Ava and I were actually up and around. We were in the kitchen making toast and the downstairs nieghbors start POUNDING on my ceiling. Ava was not running around jumping or anything like that. She was wondering around waiting to her toast. I got pissed off and stomped really loud. Come on now.. it's like 1:00. I can't tie a 2 year old to the couch all day. The whole reason they put us where we are is because, the people that live downstairs have something wrong with them. Like they can't live by themselves, but I guess their family didn't want to put them in a home. So the people that are getting mad at a 2 year old are caretakers. They're paid to stay awake and make sure the people that actually live there are safe. They aren't there to sit and enjoy the peace and quiet.
Brandon wanted me to go down there and talk to him, but I have a short fuse. I think that's why he and I work so well together.. he has all the patience in the world. We even eachother out. I guess the apartment manager was going to give them a call though. Hopefully to tell them to chill out.

Doctor, Doctor

I went back to the doctor today. They still don't know what exactly is going on with me. I have to get an ultrasound on my pelvis this week. I hope they don't find anything, but at the same time.. if they did.. they'd know what was wrong and they could fix it, right? We'll see. I'm going to see if Kristy will go with me. Depends on when my appointment is though.
Ava's been talking like crazy lately. The other day, she was so funny. She saw a snowman at the mall and started jumping and laughing. Finally she spit out "AVA IS VERY EXCITED!!! OH MY GOSH!!" I don't think I've laughed that hard in a very, very long time. It was definately on my Top 10 list of funny things.

Fresh Start

This is my fresh start. I had another blog at opendiary.com, but that turned sour. So I am starting fresh. I still have my other one, but this one is going to be a lot more positive. I hope. I'm sure I'll have a few bad days thrown in here though. It's life.